Darwin Visits MWCC: Academic Apathy & Creationist Jibberish Abound

By: Cheyne Ordonio

Posted: 3/1/10

Consider me among the godless un-American atheists bent on imposing a secular tyranny upon the world. Darwin is my Jesus, and Evolution is my God. I'm being sarcastic - somewhat - but the topic of Evolution is among my favorite subjects, ranking just below the rise and fall of the American Dream. So when I heard that Charles Darwin, or at least a man dressed like him, would be having a mock interview in the library, I jumped at the chance to report on the event. What I learned goes deeper than the biography of Darwin and into the very heart of this institution. Prepare to be offended…

He is one of the greatest scientific minds to ever bless us with his knowledge. What began as Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection has changed over time to become today's Modern Evolutionary Synthesis. It involves more than mere natural selection and adaptation, but also genetic drift, genetic flow, and mutation. It is now the only unifying theory of biology, but sadly, just six students thought such insight was important enough to show up for. Two left after grabbing a piece of cake. Two others either got bored or had more pressing matters to attend to. One fell asleep on the couch. And, the last student showed up just to argue, in Sarah Palinesque, creationist like incoherent sentences, that Darwinism is a secular religion (oxy moron) devoid of facts or merit.

I, on the other hand, was intrigued. I had no idea that Darwin studied theology, or that he was married to his cousin (so much for genetic variation). I also learned that another scientist, Alfred Wallace, was reaching the same conclusions as Darwin and almost beat Darwin to the punch in releasing his theory to the world. Unfortunately, my intrigue gave way to intellectual alarm when the gentleman dressed as Darwin opened the floor to audience questions.

"Isn't it possible that you can look at evolution as a religion since there are no actual foundation or support for evolution and much of what Charles Darwin discovered is provable and completely explainable by genetics alone?" asked the creationist student. "In the Galapagos, for example, information he collected is actually explainable entirely by genetics, has no foundation outside of genetics, genetics actually contradicts evolution, so does the law of thermal dynamics. So, isn't it possible to say that evolution is in itself a religion; asking you to take on faith what is yet to be proven?"

Despite the student's run-on sentences, I tried to follow. I even had to rewind my recorder to reassure myself that he just threw in the law of thermal dynamics as an argument against Evolution. After much research, and without getting too technical, I've come to understand his point of view that the Universe, over time, descends into disorder. And he's right, to a point. The Universe will eventually dissipate into what scientists call the Big Rip, but that's billions of years from now. Furthermore, his point of view comes from intellectually dishonest quasi-science foolishness that is metaphor riddled and incorrectly applied to the Theory of Evolution. Not to mention, evolution is not a religion. It is an impartial explanation of the variety of life, developed by the scientific method, which is a set of principals used to arrive at an objective conclusion. Hence, no faith required.

I began to worry that the fake Darwin was ill prepared for this creationist ambush as the onslaught of tyrannical stupidity continued even as Darwin tried to answer the question.

"Genetics and evolution do not go hand in hand, they contradict each other, which is why evolution has never become a law but genetics has. Nuclear fission actually is what makes genetics a law," ranted the creationist student.

At this point I was lost. First of all, genetics is not a law; it is a discipline within the field of biology. Within the discipline of genetics there are many theories, but there is no law. Secondly, what does nuclear fission have to do with genetics? But I had no time to ask the student for clarification as he continued his shenanigans.

"Genetics doesn't agree with evolution, because genetics says that any changes or forms that occur are due to genetics, to genetic differences and variances. But that within that, there is a controlled change in difference, but the genes are the same, always stay the same. In other words, if a beak changes in size, that has to do with genetics, not an environmental change of adapting to your environment. So, isn't that arguable that evolution is about adaptation, but genetics is saying, 'No! It's not about adaptation, it's about genetics, or if there was a bird previously that had the larger beak…' It's arguable to say that genetics contradicts evolution."

By this time it was clear that the creationist student was going in circles around his own intellect, eventually getting dizzy and trailing off into nonsensical jibber jabber.

I have to ask, how did we get to this point? Isn't this a place of higher education? Perhaps if we spent more than a week in high school learning about Evolution we'd free ourselves from this brain disease that seems so prevalent. A few hours every Sunday morning might do the trick (only half kidding). Only then do I see the possibility of a new Renaissance, a glimmer of hope at the end of this American Dark Age.

The creationist student tried to make one more point about how people who refute Darwin are often met with hostility, much as Darwin was when he first published On The Origin of Species. I'm guessing that he was trying to imply some sort of secular tyranny in the academic community, and while I argue that such an accusation is complete hogwash, I'd like to take a moment to step into his shoes. Perhaps he is right, and I am wrong. Perhaps the law of thermal dynamics should be applied to Evolution; the world does seem to be descending into chaos. There's war, political corruption, and academic apathy. Maybe we are devolving to the level of dumb beasts.